May 18, 2020

Making Peace With Anxiety

how to deal with anxiety

Understanding Anxiety is the first step to making peace with it.

It is a wise and straightforward way to acknowledge it and find your balance in the midst of a regular, busy day, especially during these challenging times.

Anxiety is the fear of what is yet to come.
It is living in anticipation of the future- a pursuit for safety.

When you seek for safety, trying to control the future, you blend your past experiences and beliefs, making short movies about possible outcomes.

You think about what you will say or do.
You imagine how the other person will react – what they might say or might do. 
Then you imagine what you will do next. You try to predict every possible outcome. You cannot stop doing this until you feel you have everything covered.

Suddenly, all your emotions – and all those short movies you dreamed up – invade your mind and heart, unapologetically. So, there you are, short of breath, heart pounding.

What comes next? Nobody knows …
Nobody knows because no matter how many outcomes you try to predict, you can never predict everything, and neither can I. Other people’s actions and reactions are up to them. And, of course, there is the environmental aspect, too.

The truth is, you are part of the equation that you are trying to control – an important one, yes, but still only a part.

The unpredictability always happens to keep us humble. Anyway, trying to guess the future is just so exhausting, a waste of energy.
Instead of feeling safe, you end up feeling so unprotected.

Of course, there is a difference between being efficient, well prepared, and competent – and being anxious. The line is thin and delicate, but there is one. I will get back to this in the future. Take a deep breath.

When I feel anxious, unease or worried, this is one of the simple practices that helps me tremendously. Here I share with you some of my ‘how to deal with Anxiety” personal techniques:

  • Pay attention to your breathing – how your nostrils open and close.
  • Observe how your body moves as you breathe. This is a good way to notice how long the air comes in and out. Is your chest moving? Bring the air all the way in – down into your abdomen. Feel it moving.
  • Take a deep, long breath in.
  • Breathe out slowly, emptying your lungs.
  • Count 9 full respirations.
  • Repeat this cycle one more time. 
  • Practice these breathing cycles a few times each day.
  • Repeat it every time you feel anxious or worried.

You will notice that over time, this will become so natural to you that in the middle of a meeting or a family crisis, you will just be taking long natural breaths, tempering your feelings and thoughts, being naturally centered.

You will also be gifted by the realization that life tends to be sweeter when you know how to take your time and breathe with tranquility.

My personal note to very efficient, high achiever professionals: 
Give yourself a break.
Remember that we are all anxious to some degree. 
Same way, peace is real and achievable to you and to all of us.

And finally, to embrace the Anxiety and make Peace with it:

Some anxiety is good and brings new flavors and colors to your life. I could not imagine my life without it!

You deserve to have your heart beating fast when you are in love or when you are excited about something wonderful. All sort of things can take your breath away. Just remember what it means to be alive and where life really happens: right here, right now. In the present moment.

Wishing you Love and Peace,

Colette Signature

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