July 20, 2020

Emotional Intelligence and Its Key Role to Cope with Depression

how to deal with depression

Why does it seem so difficult to cope with Depression?

Why, when you feel depressed, very often you cannot make any sense of it?

Why, when you talk with a beloved one with Depression, do you sometimes feel that you cannot reach that person at all? You feel as you are unsuccessfully trying to break a wall, between you and that person, no matter how much effort you put on it.

Currently, Depression is seen as a mental problem. Thankfully, we have medications and therapy approaches to support people who experience long stages of sadness and Depression.

However, it seems that we still have lots of progress to make in this field.

The incidence of Depression has increased, and in many cases, among healthy and strong people, including teenagers, too many good people that have found hard to overcome this suffering even with support and sometimes treatment.

From the perspective of the ancient traditions, all human issues are part of a larger, sophisticated scenario. From this lens, we seek the root of whatever is causing the problem, never losing sight of the other aspects of the human being that can cause Depression, including physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual health. So too can Depression result from upsets in your social life, such as the end of a relationship or the loss of someone you love.

In any case, regardless of the cause, Depression is seen as an inner disconnection. It is an ‘isolation phenomenon’, that happens inside yourself, a broken bridge between your emotional and your mental self.

Therefore, you might think you have a good Life but not feel this way.

You might think you should have dreams, but not be able to picture a future for yourself.

You might have a family that loves you dearly, you might be admired by your friends, you might have an abundance of love around you, but if you cannot feel it:

  • You experience a lack of love,
  • You believe that no one understands you, as you were incapable to make yourself to be seen and listened to,
  • You feel lonely – isolated and miserable, and
  • You feel as you live in a constant fight against the world and against yourself.

Why does this happen to you or to someone you love?

Why does this happen to smart, intelligent people or to young people with so much life to be enjoyed?

Culturally, we have been trapped by the notion that by using only our logical mind, we can solve everything.

We have been taught to approach Depression with questions like, “Why are you depressed?” And we’ve been trained to offer simplistic solutions like, “You have a family, you have money, you have…, you are…” and so on.

To a person with Depression, none of this makes any sense because these questions appeal to the logical mind, and the best language to bridge to your emotions is not the same as the one to reach your logical mind.

The logical mind speaks a logical language, a structured language with a major and minor premise followed by an irrefutable Aristotelian conclusion.

Logic is a piece of art.

It is beautiful, predictable, and for this reason, comforting with its beginning, development, and conclusion.

It is linear; it is sharp. It can be confusing sometimes, but it is innately clear and easy to follow.

Emotions, on the other hand, belong to aspects of yourself that have no reason or explanation. They are not linear. They are surprising, unpredictable, inexplicable.

They are chaotic and creative, not always easy to follow.

They, too, are art.

In the realm of Emotions, what you feel is your reality. It does not matter what explanations a logical mind may try to give to an emotional self.

This is why many of us cannot understand someone who has Depression.

This is why you might not understand yourself, either.
Because Depression speaks an emotional language and is based on an emotional understanding.

It is only by understanding this language that you can comprehend your own or your beloved one’s Depression.

It is the emotional aspect that has the last word about how you experience Life and all you have around you.

This is important to understand not only to help you deal with your own emotional health but also to help a beloved one. Understanding this emotional language allows you to forgive yourself if you have ever felt like a failure trying to help someone you love overcome Depression.

This is when your Emotional Intelligence takes a decisive role when you are coping with Depression.

One of the ways to bridge to the emotional aspect and start healing the connection between a broken self is using the non-linear language. You might wonder how to do so since this is not frequently taught anymore. Start with small changes:

  • Wear bright colors, such as orange, yellow, red, or white.
  • Move to reconnect with life: 21 minutes a day of some cardio exercise can work wonders. It is a good way to invite your body to be part of your healing process, and your body will answer to it. The best cardio exercises are those that use your feet: walking, jogging, running, dancing, and the alike. (Always consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise program.)
  • Listen to songs and sounds that are invigorating; do so for a few minutes each day.
    As you do, tell your ‘mind’ to connect with your life’s purpose and joy.
  • Eat fresh: eat a piece of fresh fruit or vegetable twice a day. This is an act of love for your body, and all the enzymes from that fresh fruit or vegetable give you an immense sense of life.

Remember, Depression is being trapped by the past; it is an inability to build the future.

It is in the present, trusting your Emotional Intelligence to take a lead and guide you, that you can effectively touch the heart and support a beloved one with Depression or make a positive shift into your life and how you experience it.

This way, you can put Depression behind you, as a part of your past and story, and set yourself free to live your Life entirely enjoying all goodness there is in it, finding strength to move forward even in moments of torments.

To Life!

Colette

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