August 22, 2020

To Love and Be Loved Begins with Empathy

Group of people talking around a coffee table
Being empathetic does not mean that you will agree with the other person, submit to others, or become weak.

During the past few weeks, we have talked about Empathy. This is a form of Love, a way of living, that profoundly influences the way you see and respond to people and to yourself and your inner dialogues as well.

Remember that being empathetic does not mean that you will agree with the other person, submit to others, or become weak.

As a form of Love, Empathy can be studied, researched, or charted, but it is experiencing it – living, feeling, and sensing it – that allows you to learn and magnify your empathetic skills.

While practicing Empathy, you enable so much love and fluidity within your life as:

  • Feel the love you have been longing for – You can better understand your expectations as well as those of others.
  • Simplify and let go – You give another dimension and purpose for each challenge that Life presents to you and naturally set yourself free of what you do not need anymore, that excess baggage that leaves heaviness on your heart and gray clouds in your sky.
  • Gain clarity to choose what is important to you, to decide where your heart lies, and to establish real priorities You become more aware of what your true feelings and desires are, what you like and dislike, and what is healthy and unhealthy in your life. In this way, it becomes natural and simple to make healthy choices that promote a life of fulfillment.
  • Become more aware of your own qualities and brim with self-love   As Empathy is a form of love, when you practice it, you also fundamentally learn how to love yourself even more, how to take care of yourself, and how to establish healthy boundaries between you and others.
  • Become stronger and see the big picture – Living with Empathy allows you to quickly understand what is about you and what is about others, allowing you to shrug off any feelings of being rejected or offended by others because many times, people’s reaction to what you have done or said is more about themselves than about you.

Separating what is your share changes completely the way you take what comes from other people.

In my personal life, I apply this every day to different situations. I love to be free and choose to not being trapped into feeling easily offended by others! 

For example, when I am in a conversation with someone and that person targets me directly with some harsh critique, by default, I don’t take the bait. I start looking through that person, and I pay even more attention to the vibration of what they are saying.

This helps me tune into the subtle nuances of communication instead of letting myself being trapped by the literacy of the spoken words.

  • Be thoughtful about others – There are days where you feel well, have a good disposition and others not so much. And you know what? This is normal and healthy.

When I am not in my best mood, I have noticed that when I have my consultations and when I am teaching classes, I normally find it easy to shift my mood to a joyful and focused presence.

But sometimes is not that easy to shift my energy. When this happens, in any situation, including business meetings, I still have something good to do about something not so good.

I seek to preserve others’ people time and energy and in this case, the best decision is to let the other people save their energy and time, avoiding apprehension, letting them know right way that “It is not about you.”  Yes, very candidly and very much humanly.

After the usual greetings, I kindly say, for example, “Before we move forward, I want to tell you that I am very saddened today. Please, don’t think that it’s about you. I am not mad at you, or sad because of you, nor am I dissatisfied with you. I am here, I am present, and I am fully paying attention on you; however, I’ve experienced a loss of a dear friend, and I am living through the grieving process.”

It is impressive how the entire room’s energy changes. No one feels apprehensive nor asks themselves: “Did I do something wrong?”

Being human, being sincere has never made me feel less respected or powerful – quite the opposite. I notice that the other people feel more comfortable around me, and more supportive.

Empathy is your best translator- Have you seen those gothic knots, very hard to untangle as: “I love her and she keeps saying she doesn’t feel that I love her,” or, “I love him, and he keeps saying I don’t care about him”.

So much love is wasted and so many relationships fall apart despite their love for each other. So much is easily solved when you love in your way yet communicate it in a fashion that the other person receives as love and appreciation.

With Empathy you can better comprehend how the other person feels, whether they feel loved and appreciated and you can also communicate how you feel loved and appreciated.  Some people like to receive gifts; others prefer just to be listened to. And still others are thirsty for you to be present. We will get back to this in the future.

  • You gain resilience: There will be times where you will feel hurt and eventually rejected, no matter how empathetic you are. There will be situations where you will need to be hard and blunt to respond to an attack.

Rest assured that whenever these moments take place, you will find your strength to recover well and fast, because Empathy is not only to be used to understand other people. It is fundamentally an act of self-love and kindness.  

At first, it might be a little awkward to leave your comfort zone and put yourself in someone else’s shoes to feel and truly comprehend what they feel.

Give yourself some time and keep practicing. You will soon shift from discomfort to joy.

Below I share with you one Meditation that will help you find in your heart your sources of Empathy and magnify all your potential, freeing your life from unnecessary drama and making it far more exciting and joyful.

Meditation to Practice Empathy
Bring Balance and Joy to Your Life

  • Find a safe place to sit down and close your eyes.
  • Keep your arms and legs uncrossed.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Bring your awareness to your feelings and thoughts.
  • Now, with the purpose of bringing balance to your life and understand someone else’s point of view, recall a scene where you felt in disagreement with someone.
  • Watch this moment from your point of view.
  • Now, move from your point of view to the other person’s point of view.
  • Stand by their side and watch yourself from their perspective.
  • Breathe in and breathe out.
  • Come back to your place.
  • With gratitude, take a deep breath and bring your awareness to your feelings and thoughts.
  • Open your eyes.

When and if you have some corrections to do, do it and respect the other person’s reaction and freedom, who may not yet understand the journeys you have been and where you come from.

Wishing you Love and Light,

Colette

Leave a Reply

avatar

Categories:

WellBeing

Tags:

Share:


Related Posts